


Freedom

by eledhwenlin



Category: King Arthur
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-08-03
Updated: 2010-08-03
Packaged: 2017-10-10 22:26:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 399
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/105057
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eledhwenlin/pseuds/eledhwenlin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He can't believe it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Freedom

He doesn't believe it. Can't believe it. Not when he was so ready to give his life to give him what he was longing so much for. His freedom, to go wherever he wanted to. He could have roamed all countries under Roman rule. But now Lancelot lies in front of him, dead, not going anywhere.

He slightly regrets having spent the night with Guinevre, because now that feels like he betrayed Lancelot. In some strange way he did, he knows it. Knows that had been the reason why Lancelot left him for good.

But he came back. Arthur wishes he hadn't, because if he hadn't turned back, if he hadn't decided to come and help his dearest friend, then he'd be still alive. He'd be going somewhere where he could have enjoyed his life, where he could have lived happily for the rest of his life.

Only a premonition tells him that Lancelot wouldn't have been happy. That he would have missed him as much as he, Arthur, misses him now, his steady companion for the last fifteen years.

It's hard to imagine life without him. Too much of a constant force has Lancelot been all these years, too much of a hold in all the troubles and battles and the general chaos that life is.

Guinevre has left him alone, since they brought the corpse - Lancelot, he reminds himself - back to the castle. It's almost frightening how much she seems to understand him. Almost as much as Lancelot did, a voice whispers in his mind. Arthur needs to close his eyes to suppress the tears that threaten to spill. Lancelot has left a void in him, a void that yearns to be filled again.

Arthur thinks that the person destined to follow Lancelot has already dealt with her fate. It's almost comical how much more his companions seem to understand his feelings and himself. Lancelot has been the same way, has acquired his place right next to Arthur's side in quite the same way. One day he was just there.

The tears spill, despite all efforts. And now... now there's Guinevre. He knows she will be enough to easen up the pain, but she can't ever replace the pain itself. You can only love this much once in your life and he can give her only what has been left of his love.

He hopes it's enough.


End file.
